I Don't Want to Turn Around
by Minako Ishida
Summary: Don't ask. Just...don't. Taito. ^^;; Blood. Sora. You have been warned. ^.~


**I Don't Want To Turn Around**

((A/N:: Spur of the moment. ^^;; Gomen ne.))

I dragged myself into the bathroom, shutting the heavy door behind me. Another lonely Friday night alone, I thought bitterly. Turning to look at the mirror, I didn't like the sight before me. A 17-year-old boy, with puffy red eyes from crying. With streaks of tears across his cheeks, with blonde hair frazzled. "This can't be me," I mumbled soberly. Shaking my head to free a few tears, I sought around for the thing that would ultimately be my undoing.

~~~~~~~FLASHBACK DOOT DOOT DOOT!~~~~~~~~~

  I sighed happily as I heard the final bell ring for the day. Picking up all my stuff quickly, I was the first one out of the class. I headed for the sakura tree outside the classroom where we always met and saw that familiar mass of brown hair. I was about to call out his name when I saw another familiar figure: Sora. My feet stopped involuntarily in their tracks, me being close enough to not be noticed yet being able to hear everything. 

_You've got a boy, you've got a girl,_

_Sittin' underneath a tree._

_They sit there everyday._

My eyes watched in horror as Taichi bent down on one knee. I saw the sun glint on the ring, I saw Sora's happy face, I saw her embrace him, embrace Taichi, embrace MY Taichi! A hand flew to my mouth in horror as they hugged, cherry blossoms flowing around them, some catching on Taichi's green jacket. Then, when they finally split apart and looked at each other,  I knew what was going to happen. I ran right before their  lips touched. 

_And even though, you may think, that this is the way to be,_

_It may not always be that way._

Tears streamed down my pale cheeks as I dashed along the sidewalk, my shoes slapping the cement. When I finally stopped running due to exhaustion, I was at Takeru's school. Leaning against a wall, I let myself breath for awhile. I slowly slid down the wall until I was sitting, my head in my legs. Baka Baka Baka Baka, was all that repeated in my mind as my hands gripped my arms hard enough to make bruises. You should have told him how you felt before, now you've blown it! I sobbed as I realized it was the truth.

_You can't take nothin' for granted,_

_You gotta live like today_

I finally raised my head and ran a hand across my eyes. I then ran the rest of the way home, passing a few of the DD on the way. I didn't even bother to utter a hello as I passed.

~~~~~~~~END FLASHBACK DOOT DOOT!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   I smiled slightly as my eyes caught sight of the object I had been looking for. Standing over the sink, I took the razor and dug it into my skin, blood welling up in an instant. I ran the sharp object down from my wrist to my elbow, going deeper and deeper until I felt I would pass out from the pain. More tears welled in my eyes and I looked away from the blood flowing freely onto the counter and the floor. As I looked in the mirror again, I saw the pictures behind me that I had framed especially. A picture of all the DD, a picture of TK and Kari, a picture of Sora, Mimi, and Izzy...and a picture of me and Tai. 

_I turn around and I can see what's behind me,_

_And I turn back around and I can see what ahead._

He's in the past, my brain told me numbly. I feebly nodded in an attempt to convince myself of thus. I looked back down with blurry eyes at my arm and the blood. "Will this end it all...? Is this my future...?" I whispered hoarsely. The pain was starting to subside, and yet my heart was still just as heavy. "I was always there for you, Taichi...and why her?"

_And if you don't believe I'll be here all along,_

_Just turn around._

I sobbed rather loudly and collapsed to my knees and crawled to the bathtub, resting my cheek against the cool plastic ((or whatever bathtubs are made of...I uno right now ^^;;;)). I don't ever want to turn around, I said to myself, closing my pained eyes. I don't ever want to turn around and see all that blood I left.

_Just turn around._


End file.
